Fractured Lies: Book 1 MAC Security Series Read online

  “Love you too, Uncle Corey,” Eli said and sat on the couch, turning his attention back to the TV.

  “Kay?” I detected a subtle tone in Corey’s voice and picked the cell up.

  “Yeah.” I said.

  “I’m off speaker?”

  “Yeah,” I stood and moved into the kitchen. This was always the part I hated most, after he had talked to Eli came the interrogation.

  “You good?” he asked. He always did, but I couldn’t say anything but yes. What would he be able to do if I said no? It wasn’t like he could come home at the drop of a hat.

  “Got any plans for when Eli goes to school?”

  I looked around the kitchen for an answer. I had been thinking of getting a job, but just the thought of approaching that subject with Max had me breaking out into a sweat.

  “What about getting a job?” Corey asked.

  “Maybe,” I whispered.

  “Kay, you’re twenty-two, there’s more to life than just being a mom.”

  “I know that,” I sat up straighter.

  I knew there was and I knew that I wanted more for me and Eli than to stay in this rundown apartment. But how was I meant to achieve that? Max would never let me get a job. Countless times he would say, ‘your job is to be here, as and when I say’.

  “Look, I haven’t got long left,” he murmured something to somebody before saying, “Let me give you my buddy’s number, I hear he’s looking for some office help”

  I searched for a pen and ripped a scrap of paper from the corner of a bill and jotted down the number as he reeled it off.

  “How are you?” I asked before he got off.

  “I’m good, sis. Be home in a few months,” I breathed a sigh of relief.

  “I miss you.”

  “I miss you too,” he choked out “Take care of my nephew.”

  “I will.”

  “And yourself.” I didn’t answer that time.

  “Love you.”

  “Love you too, lil sis.”

  The line went dead, I pulled the cell from my ear and dropped it to the table. The smile on my face uncontrollable.

  Chapter Two

  Come Monday morning, I was a nervous wreck, I’d spent every moment cherishing Eli. Knowing that I wouldn’t see him for a few hours felt unbearable. I’d never been away from him for more than a few minutes at a time or on the odd occasion that Max would take me out.

  He was busy though so that wasn’t often.

  Working a full day at the local garage, he would then wind down for a couple of hours at the end of the day in the bar across the road.

  He deserved to do that, after all he was the only one working. Which brought me to the same conclusion; if I was earning money maybe things would get better.

  I hadn’t decided what I was going to do with the number that Corey had given me. I could feel it burning a hole in my pocket; it hadn’t been out of there all weekend as I didn’t want to risk Max seeing it.

  I had to make a decision. Soon.

  I strapped Eli in his seat and jumped into the driver’s side.

  Eli talked all the way there, while I couldn’t bring myself to say much more than ‘hmmm’ or ‘yeah’.

  I pulled up in front of the preschool, the windows covered in a painted jungle scene. It had only taken us about ten minutes to get here from the apartment. I’d only been here once for a meet and greet and Eli had loved it. The teachers seemed nice.

  Eli needed to be with other children, being with just me wasn’t enough. He needed to make friends his own age, he needed to play and to be silly. Having your mom as your only friend was kind of sad. Luckily, Max had agreed with me that he needed to get out from under my wings. Though he didn’t say it in quite that way.

  I clutched the steering wheel, my knuckles turning white as I stared at the door.

  “Come on, mama.” Eli squirmed in his seat.

  “Okay, sweetie,” I blew out a big breath unclipped my belt and opened the door.

  Eli jumped down as soon as I opened his and raced to the front door.

  “You excited?”

  “Yeah!” he shouted. I shook my head and smiled wide.

  It didn’t take long for Eli to settle. His play teacher, Miss Cooper, was there to greet us and took him into the room. But not before I held on tight to him and gave him a sloppy kiss. I knew that it was silly, but when you’ve spent almost every waking minute for the last four years with someone, it felt like I was losing a limb.

  Maybe not to that extent, but that’s how I felt.

  I shuffled out of there and drove home on autopilot. I just needed to get through the next four hours. They’d go quick. Right?

  *~*~*

  Turns out four hours can go by at a snail’s pace. I’d cleaned the apartment from top to bottom. Sorted out all of mine and Eli’s clothes into piles of keep, throw and donate.

  I even had time to have two cups of coffee.

  I almost punched the air when it was time to leave to pick him back up. I couldn’t get out the door fast enough. The drive there took longer than this morning, I was urging all the cars to get off the road.

  I needed to pick my son up. Didn’t they get that?

  I ran at Eli when he came through the doors. I must have looked crazy, all the other children that came out were running to their parents and there I was running to my child instead of waiting patiently.

  But I didn’t care.

  “I missed you so much!” I bent down, squeezed him then lifted him up off the floor.

  “Mama!” I buried my face in his hair and breathed him in. I didn’t bother putting him down until we were back at the car.

  “Did you have a good day?” I buckled him into his seat and leaned back.

  “Yeah, I played with my new friend, Andre, he likes spider-man too,” he said with a firm nod.

  “Well if he likes spider-man then he must be nice.” I grinned.

  “Uh huh, my other new friend Ryan said that he likes batman.” He shook his head. The idea of liking batman over spider-man was obviously a friend crime.

  “Did you play with Ryan?”

  “Mama.” He rolled his eyes. “I just told you he likes batman.”

  “So that’s a no?”

  “Yep.”

  I closed his door and rushed round to the driver’s side, hardly containing myself. I felt like doing a happy dance.

  “What else did you do today?” I asked as I pulled out of the parking lot.

  “Dunno.” He shrugged.

  That was all that I could get out of him. I tried asking him specific questions but all I got back was a shrug of his shoulders. Typical.

  I was looking forward to a minute by minute run down. Guess I wasn’t getting that anytime soon.

  We walked up the stairs back at the apartment block, Eli still chatting away. My problem was that he wasn’t telling me about his day but about the cartoon that he watched a week ago.

  Several times I tried to get a word in but each time he would just keep talking. It made the silence when he was gone that much worse. I didn’t realize how much he talked until I spent time on my own.

  “Can we go see Miss Maggie?” he asked.

  “Sure,” I said and started on the last set of stairs.

  Miss Maggie is one of the people who lives on our floor. She came around and introduced herself when I first moved in. When I opened the door and saw an old lady with grey hair, I expected her to give me a cake or something to welcome us.

  Instead she firmly told me that she may be old but she didn’t act like those old farts in the next building over. She told me to expect loud music to come from her apartment and not to complain.

  She started to come around more often and soon bonded with Eli and his love for cartoons.

  Max had put a stop to her coming around but that didn’t stop me from going and seeing her a couple of times a week. I preferred to be in her apartment anyway.

  Eli knocked on the door and pushed it open.
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  “Miss Maggie?” I always made sure that she knew who was coming. Not for her sake, but for mine.

  Once I came in and didn’t ‘announce’ myself as she would say. I nearly got smacked round the head with a baseball bat. Suffice it to say that I always ‘announced’ myself now.

  “Kay? Eli? That you?” she asked.

  “Yeah!” Eli shouted and ran down the hallway. There were two reasons he loved to come to Miss Maggie’s. To watch cartoons and to see the cats.

  I went down the short hallway and into the small living room. The apartment wasn’t big, but then there was only Miss Maggie. All the furniture circa nineteen seventies matched, complete with a crochet blanket on the back of the couch.

  Photos lined most of the walls, if you followed them in the right order it showed Miss Maggie’s whole life. I loved to sit here and look at them, especially the black and white ones. They all held a certain history that I found fascinating.

  When I walked into the living room, Miss Maggie was listening intently to Eli, I gave her a kiss on her cheek and headed straight for the kitchen.

  “So I think he’s going to be my best friend.” I heard Eli say.

  “That’s really nice, dear. What's his name?”

  “Andre, and we played with the trains as well.”

  “And what about the other young man?”

  “No way!” Eli shouted back. I rolled my eyes and switched the kettle on.

  I pulled two cups down from the green cupboard and place a tea bag in each. Earl Grey tea. I hated the stuff.

  My lips pursed from pouring the water over the tea bags, just the smell of it made my eyes water. I was a coffee girl and nothing would ever sway me from that.

  I carried the cups in and placed them on the table next to Miss Maggie. Eli sat in the middle of the couch both cats sprawled over his lap. Careful not to disturb them I sat down gently. Henry, the ginger one, lifted his head and meowed at me. One of those ‘don’t come any closer’ kind of meows.

  I never left here without a scratch from at least one of them.

  “How was your day dear?” Miss Maggie asked, picking up her tea and taking a sip.

  “Lonely.” I huffed and sat back.

  “I bet, it’s a big change.”

  “Yeah.” I picked my tea up, grimaced when I took a sip and put it back down. I really needed to start bringing some coffee with me.

  “So what are you going to do with all that spare time dear?” I huffed out a huge breath. That was the question of all questions.

  “I don’t know, Miss Maggie. I’d like to maybe get a little job.” I shrugged.

  My hand fluttered over my pocket, the number still safely tucked away. I wanted to call, I probably wouldn’t even get the job. But the fact that it was still on my mind spoke a thousand words, I just didn’t want to go behind Max’s back. Was it even worth broaching the subject with him?

  “That would be nice. You need to get out and have something of your own.”

  I moved my eyes from Eli to the cartoon that was playing on the TV. I did need something; Eli couldn’t be my whole life. I needed something for me.

  “Corey said that his friend was looking for some help in his office.”

  Her eyes widened at the mention of Corey. She always loved to hear about him and knew that I waited every Saturday for his call.

  “Corey finally called?”

  “Yeah.” I nodded and fidgeted in my seat.

  “He okay?”

  I nodded and looked at the picture that sat next to the TV. Miss Maggie and her husband both with giant smiles on their faces with her husband dressed in his army uniform. She knew better than anyone what it was like.

  “Well, what are you going to do?”

  However much I liked to think I wasn’t sure, deep down I knew my answer.

  I just had to admit it to myself.

  *~*~*

  We stayed with Miss Maggie for an hour and then went over to our apartment. Eli sat at the table in the kitchen drawing whilst I made dinner. I hadn’t been able to get my mind off of getting a job so I decided that I would broach the subject with Max.

  I just had to do it in a way that wouldn’t cause him to think I was overstepping my boundaries. Any little thing I said could set him off, I had to tread carefully.

  He wouldn’t want me to get a job, but I had to say something even if it was just to tell myself that I had tried. That might be enough to put it to rest in my mind.

  The apartment door opened before I figured out what I would say. Butterflies swarmed in my belly. I wiped my hands on a towel and picked up the plates my hands shaking so hard the pasta nearly slipped out of my hands. I made it to the table just in time.

  I inhaled a deep breath, willed myself to calm down and went back for the drinks.

  He walked in as I was sitting down. I couldn’t get a read on him, which was worse than when he was angry. At least then I knew what to expect.

  His boots stomped along the floor as he crossed the small space.

  “Hi, Max.”

  He grunted and sat down next to the window, picked up his fork and shoveled pasta into his mouth.

  “Eli had his first day at preschool today.” He grunted again. I did this all the time, I always ended up talking to myself. I’d stayed silent once, which he took to mean that I was hiding something, so now I always made sure to tell him all that we had done that day. However small it was.

  I moved the pasta round my plate, not hungry in the slightest.

  I slid my eyes to Eli, his head was down while he picked up a piece of pasta and placed it in his mouth. I hated seeing him like this, the contrast from a couple of hours ago to now was unreal. It was becoming more and more obvious how Max affected Eli; he’d started to go silent whenever he was around. His movements would slow down almost like he knew that if he moved too fast he’d gain unwanted attention. If it was just me and Eli, he would have shoved all of his pasta in his mouth much like Max was.

  “So…” I waited for Max to look up. When he didn’t I went ahead anyway. Now was as best of time as ever.

  “I’ve got all this free time, now that Eli is at preschool,” I said lightly.

  His head snapped up, those eyes pinning me in place. I gulped at the intensity knowing better than to look away. I shouldn’t have said anything; the grunting should have been warning enough.

  His eyes darkened, the swirls told me that I should have kept my mouth shut.

  “And what do you want to do in this free time?” he said calmly.

  This was where I needed to change the conversation, not say what I wanted to say. To divert his attention elsewhere. But my mouth moved before my brain could stop it.

  “I was thinking.” I clutched my hands in my lap “Maybe I could get a job?” I rushed out.

  He shoved another mouthful of pasta in his mouth chewing slowly all the while watching me.

  “Your place is here.” The vein in his neck started to pulse.

  “I know-”

  “No you don’t fucking know!” I gasped, my eyes flying to Eli who was watching me with wide eyes.

  “I’ve told you time and time again. Your. Place. Is. Here!” He slammed his fist on the table.

  “Mama?” Eli whispered. I reached over and held his hand.

  “To cook me dinner and clean this shithole!”

  “Max,” I pleaded.

  He stood, the chair slamming to the floor.

  “Do you need to be reminded of your job here? Hmm?” he gritted out, his jaw clenched tight.

  “No, Max.” I sat up straighter. “I…I’m sorry.”

  He moved round the table, stopped next to my chair and stared at me. I flinched when his hand came up.

  “You need to learn what is appropriate to say to me.” My eyes closed of their own accord, bracing for the pain that I was sure to feel.

  He laughed, then muttered, “I’m out of here.”

  I opened my eyes, stunned that I hadn’t been corrected.
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  The air was thick, until we heard the front door slam shut. Eli stared at me but I didn’t know what I should say. Whether I should explain that I shouldn’t have said anything, that I knew it wouldn’t go down well but I couldn’t help myself. I needed to learn to control myself better. I’m way better than I used to be but I still had the odd slip up here and there.

  “I’m sorry, sweetie.” I picked up my plate, stood and emptied it into the trash. I hadn’t eaten a single thing; I wouldn’t be able to until at least tomorrow. My stomach was all kinds of twisted.

  “It’s okay, mama,” he said. I turned to see him eating and smiled.

  I placed a kiss on his head and sat back down, listening when he started to talk about his new friend. He shouldn’t have known that I needed a distraction. But I was glad to have one.

  It didn’t take him long to get back to the little boy that I knew so well.

  Max didn’t come home until late that night. I half expected him to come in the bedroom, even if it was to correct me, but as I listened to him stumble into the living room it was obvious that he was wasted. His snores followed a couple of minutes later.

  That’s when I allowed myself to relax slightly.

  Chapter Three

  Eli had been at preschool for a couple of days now and he loved it. Every day he would have a new story to tell me or another new friend that he had made. I looked forward to all the stories that he told me, I soaked everything in. It was amazing how much he had grown in just a few days. Being around other children was good for him, I just never realized how good it would be.

  Me, on the other hand, I was lonely. I was bored. All I did was sit in the apartment and watch the hands on the clock tick by.

  In the last four years, I hadn’t had anytime to myself and now suddenly I had too much time.

  I’d been sitting at the kitchen table for ten minutes now watching the clock, I could have sworn it was slow. I’d even checked it twice in case it needed new batteries.

  I slumped down in my chair, I had nothing to do and nobody to go and see. The only people that I spoke to were Eli, Max and Miss-.

  I jumped up out of the chair. Why hadn’t I thought of that before?