Confessions Of A Chatterbox (Confessions Series Book 2) Read online

“Two.”

  His hand moved.

  “Three.”

  Then he attacked me with his fingers! He was tickling me, and not in the sexual kind of way, but the pee-your-pants-because-you’re-laughing-so-hard kind of way.

  “Stop it!” I tried to wiggle away, but the sofa was on one side and he was on the other. He’d blocked me in, and if his own laughter was anything to go by, he knew it. “You buffoon!”

  “Oh, bringing out the big guns, huh?”

  He was relentless, his long fingers not giving me a second to recover as they continuously tickled me. He knew my weakness. Dammit.

  “If you don’t get off me,” I gritted out, “I will wash all your wigs with normal shampoo.”

  He gasped, his fingers halting immediately. I knew his weakness too. Hell hath no fury to someone who threatened a drag queen’s wigs.

  “You wouldn’t.”

  My lips spread into the biggest grin as I stared up at his blue eyes that flashed with a mixture of pain and laughter. “I totally would,” I warned him. “Now get your stupid, sexy muscles away from me.”

  His lips quirked at the corner, and his dimple made an appearance. I was guessing that was his trademark smile that lured all of the guys to his lair.

  “You love my sexy muscles.” He wagged his brows up and down and planted a kiss on my head. “But you still need to get up. You’re making the apartment look messy.”

  I narrowed my eyes on him. “How. Dare. You.”

  He lifted off the sofa, and I rolled onto my back and sat up. His stupid quirked lips turned into a full-on grin. “Come on, up you get. We’ve got places to be tonight.”

  “Ugh.” I threw my arm over my face and groaned. I’d forgotten all about dinner with Vi and Axel. And, of course, Chad knew I was never on time. If I said I’d be there at six, what I really meant was that I’d be there at seven. Fine, most probably eight. But it wasn’t my fault! I just had the late gene. It was passed to me, and there was scientifically nothing I could do about it. It was a disease, something I couldn’t stop no matter what.

  If people wanted to blame someone, then it should be the big guy upstairs, and I didn’t mean the dude who fixed the apartments when something was broken. Although he did live upstairs and was huge. Like…huge. I was sure he was an alien sent down to scope out planet earth before all his alien friends came down to rage a war on us. I had a plan for when that happened though. It included a shit ton of food and a Taser gun, all hiding in my closet in the backpack marked, “alien escape plan bag.” It sat right next to my “zombie escape plan bag,” which, incidentally, held the same things the alien bag did, but one was black, and one was blue. Major difference.

  “Come on, get up!” Chad’s hand wrapped around my arm and pulled.

  I flopped, doing my most awesomest impression of a rag doll, complete with my head lolling to the side. “But I don’t wanna!”

  He let go of my arm, and I didn’t move to stop or brace myself as I landed on the white rug on the floor. The softness enveloped me, and when Chad’s sock-covered foot pushed against my ribs, I groaned.

  “Fine!” I scrambled up but fell unceremoniously into his crotch.

  He stared down at me, his lips still spread in that stupid grin with a twinkle in his eye. “We don’t have time for that right now, El.”

  I scoffed, using the sofa to help me stand. “Mmm-hmm…there’s just one problem with what you just said.”

  Holding my hand against the side of my head to try and stop the pounding from a lack-of-sleep headache, I took slow steps toward the bathroom.

  Chad followed me as he asked, “What’s that then?”

  I pulled open the bathroom door and twirled around. My gaze trailed down his body and over the light-gray T-shirt he was wearing and the sweatpants low on his hips. “I don’t have one of those.” I pointed at his groin and smiled sweetly at him. “And you wouldn’t be able to handle all of this.” I waved my arm toward my body. “Even if you could stand to look at my vagina without feeling like you were gonna puke.”

  I entered the bathroom and slammed the door in his face. Stupid morning person. How dare he infect me with his morning-ness.

  Curling my lip, I moved my gaze around the bathroom. It was all white and black, every inch sparkling clean. The longer I stared, the more awake I became. I stepped forward and flipped the switch on for the shower, not willing to glance in the mirror at what I was sure would be a mess. There were two kinds of people in this world. Those who woke up just as pretty as they went asleep, and those who looked like they’d had a boxing match while also saving the world from a vampire invasion.

  Huh. I should probably make a backpack up just in case that ever happened.

  I stripped off my sleep shirt and stepped into the shower cubicle, relishing in the water as it rained down on my skin. It was bliss. Pure bliss. The door opened as I was washing my hair.

  “So…” I flicked my gaze over at Chad as he put the toilet seat down and sat on top of it. “About last night. Did I scare him off?”

  He dragged his bottom lip through his teeth and chuckled. “He freaked the hell out,” he shrugged, “but I got his number anyway. Probably won’t call him, but yeah.”

  Tilting my head back, I washed the shampoo out of my hair and grabbed my loofah. “You’re a man whore.”

  He pushed his chest out. “Yep, but there’s nothing wrong with that.”

  There wasn’t, but he had enough sex for the whole apartment block. “You should probably slow down before your penis dies of exhaustion.” I raised a brow as I squirted some body wash on my loofah and foamed it up. “He’s probably begging for a break. If you’re not pounding into some unsuspecting guy, then you’re taping him to your ass.”

  Ugh. Now I had that image in my head. Thanks, brain.

  He wrinkled up his nose. “Hardy har.” He rolled his eyes and stood. “You know I missed you when you were gone, right?”

  My stomach dipped at his words and the serious expression fluttering over his face. “Yep.” I rinsed the body wash and turned the water off. “You’d be lost without me to clean up after you.” I stepped out of the cubicle and walked past him to grab my towel.

  “Speaking about beards…”

  I spun around as I wrapped the towel around my body. He pointed at my groin this time, raising his brows. “I think it’s time you tended to yours.”

  No matter how much I tried not to blush, I couldn’t stop the heat rising through my cheeks and over my chest. I was one of those women, the kind who blushed everywhere. And when I said everywhere, I meant everywhere.

  “You’re such a…such a… Ugh! Get out of the bathroom and leave me alone, you big old meanie!”

  He threw his head back, laughing so loud it echoed off the tiled walls. I grunted, shoving past him and grabbing my toothbrush. When his laughter was finally under control, he stared at me in the mirror.

  “You know I love you.” He wrapped his arms around me from behind and rested his chin on top of my head.

  “Whatever,” I gurgled around my toothbrush just as someone knocked on the apartment door.

  He planted a kiss on the side of my head and let go. My gaze followed him in the mirror as he walked out of the bathroom.

  It really was a shame he liked the dick instead of the va-jay-jay.

  Chapter 3

  Confession #51: When someone sneezes, are you meant to say excuse you, or bless you?

  Pretending wasn’t something I found hard to do when it came to Chad. We were as close as two rabbits who wanted to constantly procreate—without the actual procreating. So I knew, as we headed to his brother’s hotel, we’d put on an undeniable show for them.

  Sometimes I wasn’t sure where the pretend ended and the real began. Lines blurred and became messy, but who wanted it perfectly straight and clean anyway? I’d learned over the years that nothing was ever flawless. It was all about making the most of what you had.

  Chad pushed out of the cab once it pulled
up at the curb, and I followed him out, smoothing my warm palms over the soft material of my light-blue dress.

  I’d been back in New York for a couple of days and hadn’t told either Chad or Vi about the job Mrs. Lang had offered me. I was the kind of person who didn’t really think things through, and it had worked for me so far. I flew by the seat of my pants and didn’t care whether I was about to make a mistake. Mistakes were there to be made, right?

  Chad’s large hand gripped mine, the smooth pads of his thumb rubbing back and forth over my knuckles. I turned my head, noting the small smile on his face and the chiseled cheekbones that looked that more prominent in the harsh lights of the reception area. He was a perfect mixture of his mom and dad.

  As if he was reading my mind, he cleared his throat. “I thought we could go visit Ma this weekend if you aren’t booked up.”

  I nodded, a lump building in my throat. I wasn’t the kind of person who shied away from how I felt. If I were happy, then I’d jump around the apartment and dance to my favorite pop songs. If I were sad, I’d decimate a tub of ice cream while crying like a lunatic. But this feeling? The one swirling around in my stomach and making me feel like I was going to keel over and die? I hadn’t had that since I was a kid.

  Chad led me into the restaurant in the hotel and right to the table Axel and Vi were sitting at. This was where I’d normally say something random and laugh my ass off, mainly because it would be inappropriate, but I couldn’t bring myself to say anything today. I hugged Vi and gave Axel a chin lift to which he shook his head at me. Even Chad furrowed his brows at me, but I didn’t say a word. I couldn’t. I was afraid what might come out of my mouth.

  LA had poisoned me. It was the only explanation. Maybe I shouldn’t have gone back there. I wouldn’t be feeling ten shades of fucked up if I hadn’t. Jesus, why was it so hard to make a decision? It wasn’t like I was leading them all to their untimely deaths in a gladiator ring. All I was doing was thinking about moving to LA for a while...right?

  I needed something to focus on, so I picked up the menu and practically buried my head behind it. But there wasn’t a point in looking because Axel had ordered for all of us anyway. This was a normal, everyday thing when we went out, but today I just couldn’t stop myself from saying, “And how did you know I didn’t want something else?”

  I lowered the menu just as the waiter was about to spin around. He halted, his gaze flicking between Axel and me.

  “You always have the chicken.” He shrugged and turned to face Vi, who I was sure was staring at me like I’d grown two heads. But right now I didn’t care. I needed an outlet, and unlucky for Axel, he’d just become it.

  “Maybe I wanted a change.”

  He chuckled but didn’t answer me, and that just got my blood boiling to epic proportions. If there was one thing I couldn’t stand, it was being ignored. Why did people do that shit? Like if I’m talking then freaking answer!

  “Hey! Rich boy.”

  He raised a brow, his eyes piercing through me like a battle sword to my chest. “I’m presuming you’re talking to me.”

  “Yeah, and you’re being so...so…rude! You can’t just go around ordering people’s food all the time. You’re not in my brain—”

  “Thank god,” he huffed out.

  I gasped, my hand flying to my chest. How. Dare. He.

  “Axel,” Vi warned, her voice low, and when I turned my gaze toward her, I could see something swirling in the depths of her eyes.

  “What?” he asked like he hadn’t just insulted me. The huge turd.

  “You’re such a goddamned caveman!” I pushed my chair back and stood. “You can stuff your chicken where the sun doesn’t shine, you stupid, handsome oaf.”

  I swerved around Chad’s chair and gave Vi a closed-lip smile as an apology. I didn’t know why I’d just done that, but I felt better about myself, for all of point two seconds. A heavy hand halted me five steps from the table. It wasn’t the hand that I was used to. I knew that even before I turned to face him.

  “El,” his gruff voice warned.

  “What?” I pursed my lips and stared up at Axel.

  “Come back to the table. Order what you want.” He paused, tilting his head at the table where Vi and Chad were watching us. “Vi hasn’t seen you for over a week and misses you.”

  Ugh. He knew exactly what to say to make me go back there. I jabbed him in the chest with my pointer finger and huffed. “Fine.” He let my arm go, and I waltzed to my seat, not wasting a second to tell the waiter, “I’ll have the chicken.”

  Axel chuckled, and Chad shook his head.

  What? I did want the chicken. It wasn’t that I hadn’t wanted it, I just didn’t want him ordering it for me. Damn. Now I was starting to sound like a crazy person. Meh. I blamed the women’s hormones running rampant through my body this week. My shark’s fin was extra pointy today.

  “Spit it out,” Axel barked when the waiter had left. No one spoke as he stared at me. “We can all see there’s something on your mind right now. Bitchy-El only comes out when she really wants to say something.”

  I scrunched up my nose. “Ugh. Vi, control your man. He’s turning into a woman.”

  “I assure you,” Vi practically purred, “he’s definitely all man.”

  “Ew! TMI, Vi. T. M. I.”

  She laughed, her head dipping back from the force. Axel was a quick thinker because he grabbed the back of her chair and righted her before she could tip it over. Girl was a walking disaster.

  Several sets of eyes were on me, and when Chad’s hand squeezed my thigh, I knew I wasn’t going to get away without saying anything, so I blurted out, “It’s shark week.”

  “Nuh-uh.” Vi shook her head. “Shark-Week-El isn’t like Secret-Keeper-Bitch-El. They’re two completely different people.”

  “They are not!”

  “Are too,” she replied, sounding bored.

  “Are not!”

  “Are too.”

  “Not.”

  “Too.”

  “Ladies,” Chad tried to intervene which earned him an elbow to the stomach. Never get involved with two women who were related when they were having an argument. First rule he should have known.

  “Not.”

  “Too.”

  “Too.”

  “Not.” I slammed my palm on the table, gritting my teeth from the burn it caused. “Dammit! You suck.”

  She grinned big and wide. “I won.”

  “You’re a cheater.”

  “Am not.”

  “Are too.”

  “Enough,” Axel’s rough voice cut us off. “Just say what’s on your mind so we can actually have an adult conversation tonight.”

  “Meh. Adult convo is so boring.” I rolled my eyes. “We should all pretend we’re teenagers. Oh! Let me give us characters.” I rubbed my lips together and studied each of them. “Axel is the broody asshole—the most popular guy in the school. Everyone wants him, but he only has eyes for the awkward nerd.” I looked at Vi. “You can basically just be yourself. You were a cute teenager.” I turned to face Chad. “And Chad can be the star football player, who’s also a player off the field too.” I raised my brows up and down and quirked my lips. “And I—”

  “Can tell us what the hell is going on,” Chad interrupted.

  “I’m giving us characters. Duh.”

  “You’ve been weird since you came back from LA.” He shook his head. “Weirder than usual.”

  “I have not.”

  “You have.”

  “Not.”

  “Jesus!” Vi threw her hands up in the air. “El, what’s going on?”

  My gaze found all the utensils on the table, studying them intently. They were really shiny. I wondered how they got them to be like that? Maybe I should ask the waiter when he came back because I wanted my forks to basically be mirrors too.

  “Elllllllll…”

  “Mrs.Lang-offered-me-a-job-in-LA-and-I’m-thinking-of-taking-it,” I rushed out, puffin
g my cheeks, and taking a deep breath.

  “What—”

  “Really?” Vi asked, smiling wide.

  “How did you…what…” Chad shook his head. “How did you understand that?”

  “You really need to work on your Ella language,” she told him. “She was offered a job in LA.”

  “What?” Chad spun around in his seat, all of his attention on me. “What job? Why didn’t you tell me?”

  I closed my eyes briefly and leaned back in my chair. “You know I was there to give a talk about being freelance, right?” I stared into his blue eyes. “Well, my old lecturer spoke to me afterward. They want to add another section to the course, and she wants me to lead it and teach the classes.”

  “That’s amazing, El!” Vi stood, ambled around the table, and wrapped her arms around my shoulders. “You should do it! We can spend the summer together in New York and then you can go there in August—”

  “She wants me there after spring break…in a week.”

  “Oh.” Vi pulled back, biting down on her bottom lip as she moved to her chair.

  “She wants to do it over one semester first and see what it runs like before adding it for a full year.”

  “You can’t go,” Chad piped up. His rough voice had an edge to it. “Vi just moved here, and what about me? How will I keep the apartment clean? I’ll probably catch some life-threatening disease from not cleaning, and then I’ll die, and it’ll all be your fault.”

  “Stop being so dramatic, you drama queen.”

  His eyes flashed. “You can’t leave me.”

  “Don’t be selfish,” Axel grunted. “You can’t hold her back with an opportunity like this.”

  I lifted my gaze to his. I hadn’t expected him to be the one to say something like that, especially after what I’d said and done tonight.

  “You should go for it,” Axel told me. “Chad can survive without you for a few months, and we can go visit Ma more. I know you’ve been going to see her once a week.”

  “You have?” Chad asked. “I didn’t know that.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Miriam and I are tight. We’re bros. I don’t have to tell you when I’m hanging with my bro.”